June 23, 2026

Running on Empty

I remember a night in 2005 or 2006  I was a young dad, just starting my company. Our church was doing a Halloween trunk-or-treat, and my kids were lit up about it. Costumes, excitement, the whole thing.

I showed up mentally, emotionally, and physically empty.

What came out of me that night was anger. I wasn't angry at anyone. Nobody had done anything wrong. Nobody had done anything to hurt my feelings or make me mad. They were just kids excited about an evening. But I was miserable, walking through that gym, bitter about being there, and I couldn't even explain why.

Looking back, that night tells a harder story. I had spent so much energy trying to be successful, trying to earn credibility, climb the mountain of entrepreneurship, provide for my family — that I was actually failing at home. I wasn't emotionally available for my kids because I had nowhere to take my struggles. No one to share my questions and concerns with. No one to remind me I wasn't alone. My tank was empty, and my kids were asking for something I had nothing left to give. When someone needs something from you that you don't have, it can make you feel bitter. I wished I had some for myself, let alone for them.

And the hardest part was that I could see it happening. It was almost like being outside my own body, watching myself and knowing I shouldn't feel this way, knowing I shouldn't be treating them this way, and yet I couldn't get out of my own way.

That is a big part of why Live & Lead by Design exists. Not just to teach leadership content or provide coaching, but to create a community where entrepreneurs and leaders can tell the truth about how they feel, find others who understand, and go back to their families full-hearted, present, and fully themselves.

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